Paul's Video

When I was in intensive care I had a fit in hospital and I can remember there was six people holding me down, I don’t like lying down. I was in a coma for about eight days. When I was coming off sedation, there was a tube in my side. I think it was a catheter, I used to pull it really hard and the tracheostomy but the doctors bandaged my hands up, I couldn’t say anything. The first thing I thought was where is Kelly and I’ve got a job in Dinnages, Ford motor dealers But I couldn’t say anything, but I was crying.

When I was waking up I remember there was a male visitor and I thought who is he and why is he crying? I thought what’s happening to me! The nurse said to him it’s not him it’s the bloke over there. I can remember the girl opposite side to me, she had cancer. She had loads of tubes, then she didn’t have any tubes, I thought she was dead and then she had some tubes again, I think it was a bad situation, but I don’t know. I can remember the nurses and doctors in intensive care, the nurses took a tube out of the pocket and used to clean my throat out and lung. It was really bad, I used to gag about 10 seconds. I was in bed obviously. I had to sit down and there was a crane. They had to lift me up and I had to sit in a chair, I can remember my dad and brother were there, I thought I’ll be able to stand up, the nurse was the other side of the room,  I remember it well. He had to run because I was trying to stand up.

When I was moving out of the ward I can remember two cleaners mopping up two beds and the cleaner was gagging. It not my bed obviously. It was the other people who died. I thought it was a nightmare but I knew it wasn’t. The bed I was moving to was in Donald Hall Ward. It was a horrible Ward. In the night time and I thought cor he’s going to be dead and he was, and it was another one again he can be dead and he was, I think it was four or five people dead, I thought it was me next!

There was a TV in my bed but I couldn’t understand it, but Kelly was helping my. When I had Eastenders on the TV and said see you later in the morning. I didn’t like noise and the large groups of visitors, there were loads of visitors. the ala members visited me. 

When I had finished in the loo, I had to poll the cord for the nurse get me. I pulled the cord again and again and I thought I’ll have to stand up. And then I was falling down. It felt like 10 minutes until the nurse arrived and I can remember the pain in my back I think it was the coccyx. It was really painful. It was about five weeks of pain, I thought my God I’ll have to stay here, I thought I wont able to go to Southlands Hospital, but thank you God I did. When I was moving hospitals it was six hours in a waiting room, but then the van was arriving, it was a relief it was a nice drive I can remember there was a concert I think it was I fat boy Slim concert. I was in southbound hospital, there was a patient next door to me. He was like a baby. There was another patient he had no speech and right side of his body, that the same as me. The nurse is what I can remember was Gabby, and Anita and they were the funny nurses. Anita was brilliant. I didn't sleep much. I was awake about five o'clock I was so bored with it. 

I had physio speech and home care, the first physio she was really good and then she left, she had to go to Worthing. The new physio, she was all right but I think she was training. I couldn't walk I had to have a wheelchair. I had a speech therapist I think it was John. I couldn't even speak, say Cow, pig and cat etc. I don't mind so much the wheel chair, or about the arm I cannot move, if I only had my speech - that was the worse problem. I could of trained others to do auto locksmith's. My appointment with the consultant he said to me and Kelly, you'll never walk again and your speech will be like this for the rest of your life.

My life and my soul was destroyed. I had been in intensive care in a coma.

My physio wants to go to the other side hospital in Brighton and I had a low bath Chuter there Sunday afternoon so I said to her I'll thank God and I can see life out side of the hospital.

There was loads of physio there I think it was about 20 physio therapist. She was brilliant the bow barf instructor. I used to have a one day visit at home I had a wheelchair it was very hard for me putting in my car and out of my car, my God that was bloody unbelievable it was brilliant, then I had a week end, my wife and my dad put a bed in the lounge.

Three months and I was going to leave Southlands, it was very sad me in this nurses cried. I was alone, me and Kelly had loads of visitors for about one week. But then me and Kelly was alone, that was awful. Kelly was brilliant for me, but she probably crying a lot. 

Three years after Paul had a stroke he recorded a video of himself to show his progress.

Paul's Video