Jay Watson

Peer Leader Stories

Jay - Barnstaple Support Group Peer Leader

 

Click below to listen to the story.

 

Before her stroke

Before her stroke, Jay lived a full and active life. She worked as both a lifeguard and a children’s swimming teacher, and had recently begun training as a nurse. Outside of work, she spent time with her friends and her then-partner, now husband. Life was busy, sociable and happy.

 

Stroke onset

Jay’s stroke happened suddenly in 2023, when she was just 30 years old. During a lifeguard training session, she suddenly felt that something was wrong. Her head felt strange and she had to sit down. Moments later, she began to vomit.

Paramedics were called and took her from the pool to the ambulance. She collapsed over onto her right side and couldn’t feel anything on the right side of her body.

Jay remembers feeling dismissed. One paramedic told her to “come on, get up, it’s normal”, even though she physically couldn’t. She believes paramedics thought that she had mental health issues. At times, she didn’t feel she was being taken seriously. 

For the next 48 hours, she drifted in and out of awareness. She remembers being moved to a ward and waking up confused about why she was in hospital. She stayed in hospital for ten days. 

 

Early days

Upon leaving hospital, Jay moved into her Mum’s house for three months. At first, she was overwhelmingly tired and needed lots of rest.

There were physical challenges. Her Mum’s bathroom had a step she had to master, and with very limited physiotherapy support, Jay practised this on her own each day. Her Mum reduced her working hours so that she could be around to help. 

Life outside the house was exhausting. Two months after the stroke, a friend took her into town, but after half an hour, she was so fatigued she had to go home and sleep. 

 

Communication

Jay began Speech and Language Therapy in hospital, and it became a lifeline. For the first three months at her Mum’s home, she saw her Speech and Language Therapist three times a week. Once back in her own home, this reduced to twice a week for another three months, then weekly, until the sessions ended. Her Speech and Language Therapist introduced her to an app called Adv Language, which enabled her to practise reading and writing in small steps. 

Talking with others became central to her recovery.  Jay can now speak well, though processing speech can take a moment, especially in the evenings. If someone talks too fast, she asks them to stop and slow down, and once they understand why, they adjust.

Jay is able to read, but writing is hard. She can write short phrases like “thank you” and “how are you?”, but not full sentences. She uses speech-to-text on her phone for most writing tasks. When applying for jobs following her stroke, some employers rejected her because she couldn’t write, which was frustrating and unfair. 

 

Returning to Work

As her confidence grew, Jay started a job serving ice cream at an arcade in Westward Ho. Nine weeks later, she applied for her current job in a care home; she works around 30 hours a week on rotating day and night shifts.

At the job interview, she struggled to express some words, but was reassured by her manager that she understood what Jay meant and wanted her on the team. This understanding made a huge difference.

 

Ongoing Physical Challenges

Jay still has no feeling in her right hand, and walking can be painful. She feels off-balance; as if she is bearing more weight on her right side. Going downstairs is still difficult and she takes it one step at a time.

Physiotherapy and Occupational Therapy (OT) support were limited – she received just four physiotherapy appointments and one occupational therapy appointment. This was far less than what she needed.

 

Support from Family and Friends

Jay describes her husband, friends and family as “amazing”. In the beginning, she felt very down and didn’t want to see anyone. However, her best friend and her sister came to visit and friends kept checking in with daily messages.

Her loved ones remind her not to apologise for her speech and that none of her communication difficulties are her fault. 

Although Jay feels “fine” in her mind, she has to remind herself that she is living with a disability – something which isn’t obvious to those who don’t know her. 

 

Financial Impact

Following her stroke, Jay applied for Personal Independence Payment (PIP); a UK benefit designed to help with the extra living costs associated with a long-term condition or disability. Her partner had to complete the telephone assessment on her behalf, as she couldn’t speak at the time. Jay felt her needs were minimised by the assessor - she was denied support and cannot face going through the process again. 

 

Say Aphasia

Jay first heard about Say Aphasia from her Speech and Language Therapist, who told her about a new group opening in Barnstaple. They were looking for peer leaders, so Jay stepped forward to help.

Group sessions involve relaxed conversations, with a calm and welcoming atmosphere and plenty of cups of tea. Some members speak quite well, while others can only say a few phrases. Jay adapts her communication depending on who she’s with – speaking slowly and giving people extra time. The group offers a patient and supportive space, where everyone tries hard to understand each other.

The group is still small and new, and Jay hopes to raise awareness and bring in more members. She would also love for the group to organise trips out into the community. Jay is the youngest in the group and would like to connect with other younger people living with aphasia. 

 

Jay’s Message to Others with Aphasia

When Jay first had her stroke, she felt emotional and overwhelmed. Her advice to anyone newly diagnosed with aphasia is:

“Don’t shut yourself off. Even though it’s hard, seeing people and talking to them helps so much. The worst thing is isolation. Being around others and communicating – that’s what helped me.” 

 

 

– Written by Eleanor Daniels